e-mail: darren@poyzer.com . tel: 07866 507441
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Blog 2008 up the down escalator
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15th April 2008
A Simple Englishman's Dilemma
There's something going on here in England, in fact it's been going on a while now. In the wake of the onslaught of political correctness, that sinister little extreme right wing politic is moving out of the shadows, lurking it's way into the working class public conscience yet again. It's as if the BNP have struck a chord somewhere along the recent line, the voice is saying "I am white and I want your bones and your blood".
I write as we approach St George's Day, an annual non-event as a rule to be honest, and yet there are whispers abound that it should be something more. I am concerned. Ours is a population that hasn't suffered any great historical displacement, and therefore there really isn't any natural requirement to sing songs of yearning for the homeland, etc. I think it's fair to say though that our heirarchy have caused their fair share of population displacements through the centuries, and whilst the soil here may be blessed with the trophies of much conquering, there's hardly a look of anything but shallow pride amongst many a decent Englishman.
There is a part of me that says ok, time to stand up and be counted, take back the flag from the nationalists, wave it loud and proud in the spirit of welcome and international socialism. However, the more I think of it, the more I am nudged alarmingly by the rabid voice of this nation's one-eyed media; the more I despair as the population of this island further implodes with cut throat selfishness; the more I am suffocated by the market forces of greed and the bile of Thatcher's bastards as they reek havoc on England's innocent children.
You know, I think it's fair to say that when it all comes out, I'm quite ashamed of my country, of it's recent and historical roles in global affairs, it's weakness both as empire in it's own making, and as piss pot to an even more despicable bunch of righteous tyrants from across the Atlantic. And the way that this country's politic has turned it's own people on each other, with despicable violence on the weekend streets of virtually every town and city community, the tip of a titanic blood soaked iceberg.
On St George's day this year 2008, I am playing at an event promoting Oxfam, a global charity that seeks to aid the poorest people of the world. A good friend of mine, in all good manner and respect, suggested that we should promote the event as a St George's Day special, highlighting the talents and cultural identity of English songwriters. I get the gist but I'm not too sure about that and, in all honesty I have to confess, the one song that I will look forward most to playing that night as a tribute to Oxfam's reason for being, was written by a Welshman.
Maybe I just don't belong here. Maybe a few union jack waving meat heads would say exactly that. Thing is, now more than ever, those of us who feel emotionally for the decline of English humanity do truly belong, right here, right now.
Long live the voice of discontent, the empire is dead meat heads - deal with it - and on Wednesday April 23rd, I won't be alone in publicly declaring this through a public address system, as well as issuing a few other rants of concern / hope / reasons to wake up and embrace the whole world. In the name of England and St George of course ...
"In Christian hagiography Saint George (ca. 275-281 – April 23, 303) was a soldier of the Roman Empire, from the then Greek-speaking Anatolia, now modern day Turkey, and is venerated as a Christian martyr.
Saint George is one of the most venerated saints in the Eastern Orthodox Church and Oriental Orthodox Churches. He is immortalised in the tale of George and the Dragon and is one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers.
St. George is the patron saint of Aragon, Canada, Catalonia, China, England, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, Montenegro, Palestine, Portugal, Russia, and Serbia, as well as the cities of Amersfoort, Beirut, Ferrara, Freiburg, Genoa, Ljubljana, and Moscow, as well as a wide range of professions, organisations and disease sufferers."
17th March 2008
Our Enemies Are Here Not Abroad
That’s a profound statement – it’s a statement that has been written into my psyche in indelible ink, further and repeatedly embossed by government policies, blinding institutions and corrupt financial fascists as they continue to poison the populations of our own countries, our loved ones and dearest, and the billions caught like rabbits in the headlights.
Our Enemies Are Here Not Abroad
It was actually a piece of graffiti, written on a wall somewhere in the US, captured on a photograph, framed and displayed on a wall in a side street Austin Texas art gallery, up two flights of stairs. Viewed by a posse of visiting touring writers in 2002, it was placed by a jazz musician called Harold MacMillan, a bass player whose charming smile, energy and improvisational skills helped make our visit across the globe spiritually rewarding.
Our Enemies Are Here Not Abroad
Think about it and question everything, especially prior to taking any oaths to allegiance!
"School-leavers should be encouraged to swear an oath of allegiance to Queen and country, says a report commissioned by Gordon Brown on British citizenship. Report author, ex-attorney general Lord Goldsmith, says it would give teenagers a sense of belonging. Council tax and student fee rebates are suggested for people who volunteer - as well as a "Britishness" public holiday."
Smells a hell of a lot more like the fecking BNP than a Labour Government ...!!!
8th March 2008
Love, Hope, Strength ... Trekking In Bhutan
Inspired by the work of the Love Hope Strength Foundation and hearing Nick Harper and Mike Peters discussing inspiration, I'm hoping that this year's away-days will include Trekking in Bhutan.
Love Hope Strength was co-founded by Mike Peters and promotes fund-raising for cancer sufferers in some of the most remote parts of the world, as well as general awareness of the continuing battle against cancer. Mike is surviving his own battle against cancer, and when he publicly announced his all-clear at The Alarm's Manchester gig in 2007, I was the opening support act. It was a poignant and very moving occasion ...
The Everest Rocks trek of 2007 included Nick and Mike, as well as the likes of Glenn Tilbrook and Slim Jim Phantom. Whilst my trip won't be officially linked to the foundation's own treks, which this year include Snowdon Rocks and a trek to Peru, I'm hoping to contribute a little awareness-raising of my own, whilst taking on board a whole soul full of headspace, up in the mountains. What's more, this has already helped me lose a stone in weight since Christmas, an early attempt to get fit and ready!
I'm thinking that I might take a guitar along the way, I don't think my own trek will be quite like this, but maybe with a video camera I can capture something interesting, if not quite so rock'n'roll!
Here's to the future, and the roof of the world ...
17th February 2008
WTF?
"At least 80 people have been killed in a suicide bombing in the Afghan city of Kandahar - in what appears to be the deadliest attack since 2001.
The blast hit a crowd of people watching a dog-fighting competition.
Dog-fighting competitions are a favourable pastime in Afghanistan. They were banned by the Taleban regime.
At least 300 people were attending the event on the outskirts of Kandahar, including militia leaders said to have been the target of Sunday's attack."
Were those US and UK backed militia by any chance??
Overseeing a little 'public sport' to please a blood thirsty mob.
Educating children and local people in the ways of 'culture'.
And shock surprise, another blood thirsty mob decide to blow them apart with high explosives.
Where's "regime change" and "peace and stability" now then??
Funny how we don't see the internet loaded up with petitions against the abuse of women and animals these days, like we did in the build up to the military invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq ...
The desire and petitioning to 'free' those people from terror has waned, gone, down the fast food plughole.
Behind all the spin and political posing, as this story reveals the true norm and a real picture of what is really happening, and what will continue no doubt, it seems we have managed to forget laws and moral values against cruelty, murder, torture and terror.
Imprisoning and pushing the people of these lands back into the clutches of medievel brutality is about all we seem to have achieved.
It's a fucking free for all, as was predicted by those who cared about the aftermath of these political crusades. There never was any moral or legal attachment to those invasions, there never will be, and for the sake of all those who have died and / or been mutilated, the sooner Bush, Blair, and all their political and financial supporters are brought to justice for war crimes, the better.
It won't happen of course, not whilst The X Factor's on, or Big Brother, or some maverick 'off the wall' comedian is telling jokes about his penis on The Masturbation and Acne Channel.
We've acquired oil profits for a few billionairres though ... they'll give you a well paid job in their private armies if you're a good little boy.
Utterly, utterly appalled ... 
15th February 2008
Nature, Life, Death ...
Since moving out to the countryside to get myself some life saving head space, I've had those old conflicts with town centre dickheads replaced by a whole new conflict of thought and almost daily consideration. And in retrospect, I kinda feel it's a much more serious kettle of fish food ...
It's nature. Yes, that little consequential 'thing' that sits alongside 'God™' and the Universe in so much as you can't really say what it is without getting into a serious head shit spaghetti. It's all around me, and where I used to have the sound of cars and buses, domestics and leftovers from pub fights, I now have the glorious sound of birds sending fierce shrills of terror at their prey, a charming prelude to live flesh tearing and consumation that somehow sounds cute and brings smiley admiration and Spring-like goodness.
Like everything in Life and Nature, I guess you can't go thinking too deeply without a high pressure diving bell, so most of the time I truly love the existence of life in all it's shapes and colour. I have to tell you though of an incident last Autumn, an incident I was reminded of today when walking the dog.
There's a path out the back that leads up a small hill with a view. It's not the best view in the area, but it is a back garden stroll of comfort and relaxation that I enjoy. Along the path, there is a part where a section of rock and earth appears to have been channelled to make way for the path, presenting a very small 'alleyway'. From out of this rock and earth, the roots of a large tree, that strides majestically over the top of the path.
I was returning from a walk with the dog one day last Autumn, when out of the tree, down onto the rock and eventually landing in leaves on the path, a very young bird. It seemed an incredible coincidence that this should happen at this time, for I would not have noticed this if the bird had fallen seconds before or after.
I'm not a nature buff, but I believe this was a baby sparrow, and straight away I noticed that it wasn't going anywhere. It was alive, breathing very, very heavilly and rapidly, but otherwise completely paralised. I yearned for it to sit up, to flutter it's wings, walk around, come out of it's daze and fly away, and yet even as I prodded the surrounding leaves to promote some movement, the bird remained unable to move. Only it's rapid breathing showed the will and ability to embrace life.
Not having a bag or a box, and with a yapping impatient dog at my heels, I felt at first that I should walk away, that nature had a plan for this creature, and it would recover or die, irrespective of my involvement. And yet, it was so coincidental that it should land by my feet. I was but a few yards from my home, and so I decided that if the bird was to live, I would be able to take the dog in, get a small box with a couple of air holes, and return for the bird. Not knowing for sure if the bird would be safe from further harm, I partially sheltered it in a handful of leaves, promising to return shortly with a promise of temporary residence.
I wondered how it had come to be where it was. Maybe too young to fly, it had simply fallen from the tree. Maybe it was being carried off, and had fallen from a much higher place. It certainly had hit the rock with a bang, and was severely stunned at the very least. There were no visible signs of struggle or wound though.
Nature can be a right bastard. A bigger, or at the very least, an equal bastard to that which is the cursed line of mankind that dictates suffering for millions of it's own; that carries out random extinctions for short term gain; that hunts for the blood sport. As I turn to take the return path for the little bird, I find myself comparing this to life and death in the human sense. If this were a dying child, I would do the same, I would look to save it. But what if this was a nation of dying children before me, embroiled in civil war, the path laced with landmines? Would I simply move house to protect my own, live a life of ignorance, or have the courage to fight against the 'natural' order of things, as they have been presented to me in this life? There's a part of me you know, that keeps urging to go abroad, and work for an aid agency, and this is where this particular thought stream is going.
I returned to the little bird, hoping on the one hand for survival, and yet considering how stunned it was with it's injuries, wondering if the kindest thing might be for it to die and be free of it's discomfort. Still, in the very spot where I left it, lay in a bed of shallow leaves, the tiny bird breathed no more.
I did not cry though I was very sad, and yet tears appear to remain, ready to peep out of eyes at any moment when I think of this and similar cruel fate. You see there are parallels here for me, deeply personal tragedies that shadow my footsteps. It seems that I have issues with nature, and ultimately the 'God' I was brought up to believe in that subsequently became the focus of some of my anger in this world. To have a row with some pissed up dickhead is difficult, but ultimately not as difficult as the conflict I feel when I consider the fate that befelled the two helpless baby brothers I lost, and the crippling fate that made my Father as helpless as that fallen bird, due to a motor bike accident. His fall ultimately brought him death also, and there was nothing I could do.
Peace of mind. Do we ever find it? Can we ever deal with the consequences of what we are, of what we consume, of what is done to us, for who we leave behind, and as an evolving race of knowledge hungry individuals, what we may yet achieve or destroy in the future?
I wonder sometimes if when I have had my fill of the countryside, will I become an astronomer, seeking as so many have done throughout the history of mankind, an answer from whatever it is out there, that created the world we have here? For now, I simply wonder and wander ... just me and an impatient dog called Shannon.
13th February 2008
Every Generation Throws A Zero Up The Pop Charts
Call me, er ... oh fuck it, anything you like. Here's a little something that got me thinking a thought that has no end, and like the Universe itself, has no beginning that man could possibly relate to.
So there I was, in my environment destroying car, full of self-righteous Tesco goodness, coming out of Wrexham on the main artery death-trap that is the A534, when I nearly knock down two teenagers, boy and girl.
They look not at the car that's about to hit them, other than a short glance from the boy, hoping I guess that I will stop and give him the customary beep stress and grown up rant full of cliches.
I've learned my lesson now, I think. It's not the first time, and this particular stretch of road is notorious for the desire of the locals to stroll across boundaries for a conflict. I slam the brakes on, look with a grimace, consider calling them a pair of dim fuckwits, but drive on instead powered by higher moral standing.
Now come on, is someone trying to tell me something here? Is the 'youth of today' (apologies, I desperately didn't want to write that) trying to tell me (the former youth of today) that the world is pretty screwed, and they're angry about it?
It's not new kids. We all need positive solutions and understanding, not crippled teenagers lining the hospital waiting rooms. Yes I drive too fast, yes I am too full of my own ego to stop and talk through the issues, but let's face it if I did, your current incarnation would label me an easy target weirdo for doing so.
I think if there's one thing I have learned in my life, it's that nothing and everything changes, no matter how wise the scientist in us all thinks he or she is. For every new invention and insight, and at whatever age you are awakened by it, there will always be someone, stood in the middle of the road, reminding you that there is no clear route to anywhere.
Even space, if the fastest Captains amongst us ever get out there, is a road where angry young rocks hurl themselves at you, just to prove the point that there is a point, and at the same time, no point whatsoever.
I know what I'll do. I'll write a song. I'll show them not to mess with me ...
4th January 2008 - Kenya and other troubles
Makes the blood boil when you see writing suggesting that Kenya has been the shining light of stable democracy in Africa ... it has been the spirit of strength through suffering of it's people, and nothing more, that has given the nation a chance, and now we see yet again how greed and so called 'free marketing' has been cutting it's people to ribbons
Africa is a desperately, desperately troubled continent that continues to produce some of this world's finest magic and civilised human spirit, that has for the history of human kind been a playing ground for brutality and continually well-armed ancient feuds, leaving the bitter pain and anguish of poverty and severe starvation, not for one or two screaming children, but for millions ... how on Earth can this happen, and continually so?
if you've been to Kenya, and seen the level of civilian desperation that has been the breaking backbone on which 'stable democracy' has been resting it's lazy paunches, you'll probably have a good insight into current troubles
so the people are fighting back, standing up and making the point that they have rights, and what we are seeing now is merely the iron fist and bullets of enforced democracy and capitalism without mercy, that never ever ever will be stable as long as people are broken and suffering
scratch the surface of many a so called stable democracy, and you see something very similar ... it's amazing how so called intelligent civilised people act so surprised when populations implode and reach breaking point, leading to fear of having to give up something amongst the ignorant in their ivory towers, leading to attrocities and the great moral cause of evil excuse
I guess few people in the UK or US give a shit about Kenya, or Africa, so let's be eternally thankful to those individuals and agencies who do, and ok some might dedicate a song to the cause, thank you ... but to bring this closer to home, would anybody say our own countries possess this wonderful, thing called 'stable democracy'?
in our time people, we are seeing the same wars between the need for good and the doing of great evil that have blighted our push for 'civilisation' ... despite evolution being step as a step forward, are not our political bricks, bombs and bullets of false democracy and freedom to kill marketing the very things that are keeping us as though we are beasts and savages?
it is continual, we may build cocoons and castles, but the outside the walls of our ignorance, the fight for survival continues
happy new year ... may you all be blessed with insight into what is really happening out there, so that maybe, just maybe, the great superpower that is the hearts and minds of the people, can make a better difference
be strong, you have something to say and it needs to be said
dp x
5th December 2007 - Studio News
Just home from 3 days in the studio, The Loft in Liverpool, working with producer Nigel Stonier, and of course Kevin Farrell and Fluff. What can I say? Well, a brilliant learning curve.
I've never been a 'recording artiste' as such, so have been a little out of my comfort zone. Having said that, what we have from this session is very exciting.
Sadly, for the time being at least, we're keeping this stuff under wraps - most certainly not for the My Space Rat Race!
Does that sound pompous? Hope not ... I've said for a long time that whilst they're great for networking and being heard, sites like My Space have actually stripped the core value of music, to the point that many people now pay nothing if anything at all for music, especially unsigned / non-commercial artistes.
Oh well ... I can only say how very grateful I personally am to those who have purchased cd's, and may yet do so in the future ... certainly, I do appreciate this and strive harder each time to give you something special :-)
dp x
19th October 2007 - Naming The Baby
No, not what you're thinking! I've recently teamed up with Kevin Farrell and Fluff to work a trio line-up - and believe me it is very very special, the best thing musically I've done ever by far - and we're stuck for a name. One will come soon enough I guess, however we're entering work in-studio with producer Nigel Stonier soon, and the whole marketing thing is on hold.
If anyone feels inspired enough to suggest some names for an edgy, entertaining, melodic and beautifully dynamic trio of acoustics, violin and cello, just holler.
thanks lots, dp x
15th Sept 2007 - Pocket Full of Postcards
Well, it's been a while. I feel like I've got a pocket full of unsent postcards; promising myself to post them on my next stop and then getting dragged into further adventures. And yes, it's been fun, there's lots to tell you about, despite the incredibly crap weather the UK has had this Summer. However looking at those few days of floods we had at the beginning of July (yes it's difficult for those who lose things, and yes there's financial help required to get people on their expected footing), the suffering here was a headline for the insurance companies compared to the suffering in South Asia, where real flooding lead to widespread loss of life and unprecented health disasters that affected thousands.
"Monsoon rains and cyclones have created some of the worst flooding in South Asia for nearly a decade. Floods in India, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Nepal have devastated the lives of over 40 million people." - Save The Children
It's the bubble we live in ... whenever I blog it's a fight always to climb out and address things in perspective. Getting over the self-importance, cutting through the urge to discuss the ongoing rollercoaster of personal depression, and actually painting a picture of human interest that embraces as much of what we are as I can. My postcards for you therefore, on this occasion with respect, are merely pictures from my own travels and endeavours. I hope you find a minute to visit the Save The Children site though, also ...
June: Richard Berman, Middlewich, Falklands Comemorations, and coming to terms with Asthma
Richard Berman is a name I believe I dropped into a blog some time ago. There was a time about 18 months ago when I heard a couple of his songs on Radio IO Acoustic, and taking notice I made contact with him in Massachusetts, offered my respect and exchanged cd's. Well Richard came over for 2-3 days to play a couple of concerts with me, and to enjoy the Cheshire air. Wonderful stuff from a real songwriting craftsman!.
Middlewich Festival and Audlem Festivals proved to be pivotal gigs in tandem as a full-blown trio with Fluff on fiddle and Kevin Farrell on acoustic guitar. We supported Nick Harper as part of the Pollen8 event, and it was a long awaited breath of fresh air for me ... more about this to come, watch this space, we're pursuing this thing in due course!
Breath of fresh air did I say? How on earth have I turned into an asthmatic? Grrr ... sigh.
There's something that happened here though that bodes well for future interesting stuff: Andy Farrell - that's the Falklands Veteran and poet, not the guitar dude - and I performed a song and poetry event for Tameside Council to comemorate 25 years since the Falklands Conflict. I can't begin to tell you how powerful an occasion it was, but despite the very sombre occasion the good news is that the Imperial War Museum (North) and The Arts Council are I believe going to assist in a tour to promote our war poems and songs, most likely now in 2008.
July: Floods, Go-Lem System, CJ Chenier, and that joke of a Skinhead prick!
July found me on adventure and travels, taking on tour management duties with Go-Lem System from Spain, and US zydeco combo CJ Chenier's Red Hot Louisiana Band. Getting through the floods, just about I tell ya, we took in festivals such as Cambridge Folk festival, Womad, Larmer Tree, and Edinburgh Jazz Festival. Hotel rooms, drivers back ache, garage sandwiches etc. Good fun though ... got very pissed at Larmer Tree, gave an impromptu live performance and as an encore fell hard onto concrete out of a back stage hammock, unconscious for a little while ...
Big downer this month though, and I guess you need this every now and then, was struggling to support Toots And The Maytals. They were over 2 hours late arriving in Holmfirth, so the poor acoustic guitar carrying support act (me) had to take the stage at 10pm to 500 people who'd been shut outside and were on the whole, in no mood for some blue hat dude wiithout a dance tune to his name. Got through it with some credibility, and then as I came to the end of the set got threatened with violence by a fully booted skinhead fascist prick. I guess my comments against domestic violence might have tweaked his lack of humanity into response ... I feel good about that.
August: Some Nice Outdoor Gigs, Footy and Human Rights
Played some nice outdoor things this month, most notably the Chester Cancer Benefit at The Rake and Pikel, and the all-dayer at DeBees in Winsford, where my version of Love Will Tear Us Apart, a tribute to the recently departed Tony Wilson, was moving to say the least, bringing a woman to tears apparently.
"Highlights of the event included an incredible acoustic set from Darren Poyzer" - Wrexham Evening Leader
Big thing on my mind though, the takeover of Man City football club by Thaksin Shinawatra, ex-Thai PM who if all is to be believed, has a rather nasty human rights record. So, what do you do? Enjoy the football seeing your long suffering club actually win a game or two, or take issue with it all on the gorunds of human rights abuses? If only we football fans had the courage of some convictions, and yes it makes of all that anti-racism stuff look pretty pathetic now doesn't it ... thing is, like life and politics worlwide, the moment you point a finger and down tools, someone else picks them up and uses them against you. I am at heart very comfortable with my upbringing as a boy with a local football town identity, however the world has changed, we're not allowed to be innocent children anymore, everyone is having their hands wiped in the blood of the suffering, and that my friends is that way we are being forced to live.
I guess I'll make my own great sacrifice, write a song about it and go to the match feeling good about myself ... yeah right, if only I could write the song that puts this into words, maybe it would help a little. Maybe ... or is that my self-importance getting the better of me again?
September: Italy with Chris Difford and Friends, and other exciting things!
Well, for the 2nd year running I spent my one week holiday in Italy, attending Chris Difford's songwriting workshop. Absolutely loved it again, co-writing this time with Squeeze bassist John Bentley, Glasgow singer Rachel Dawick, Kenton Hall from the band Ist, and London based singer / writers Helen Astrid and Richie Brown. This time, I even got a couple of songs that may yet make the live set, and I believe John Bentley will use one of ours with his future solo projects.
So onwards: gigs in October with Thom The World Poet, George Borowski, Kevin Farrell of course, Wishbone Ash, Walter Trout, The Men They Couldn't Hang tour arrives soon, and there's rehearsal and recording planned for the Poyzer / Fluff / Farrell trio. And yes, it's mid-September and I sense the Summer has just arrived for a one week stay. Today is quite splendid ...
dp x
13th May 2007 - Summer Brushes By To Find Me On Good Form
The wonderful thing about being in the countryside is that you notice the seasons, their relevance, their arrival and departing. The mornings for me are getting earlier, and quite comfortably so; birds singing, the brushes of spring and early summer teasing me to wake at what is usually some un-earthly hour.
And I seem to say it every year; I am most certainly a seasonal responder, not just because I get a little down during Autumn and Winter, but because of the surge of life I get during this time of year.
Work-wise the teaching remains a challenge - I've got some mentoring for my music therapy work, and I must tell you that I have one eye on a music therapy degree that could well take me to the next stage of professional development. Whether that is an area where I'll find enough work in the future, I do not know, however it would be another area on top of the other bits and pieces I cobble together, for me to keep life balance through creative and challenging endeavours.
Gigs-wise, it's going great. It's amazing what confidence you can get from an inhaler! The diary is fuller now than it ever has been, I've just done some fantastic shows for FolksFest with a Summer full of potential touring to follow with them (hopefully!), and then a 12 date UK Tour with The Men They Couldn't Hang in November. In between, I have shows at Borders Book Stores, including a residency where I am inviting good friends and fellow songwriters to play in-store in Warrington.
All I need now is this new flippin' album! I have come a long way though in getting my preparations in place for this ... the longer it takes me to do it, the higher I am aiming. I've decided I am just going to take this as far as it will go, which means basically I have forward momentum and I don't intend allowing it to stop.
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World-wise we here in the UK have a couple of things at the top of the news at the moment; one being the imminent departure of our Prime Minister Tony Blair, standing down after a run as one of our longest serving 'Labour Party' leaders - yeah right - and the other being the kidnappijng of a 3 year old girl whilst she took a holiday with her parents in the Algarve. To lose a child is no way to suffer, as my family and I know too well, and so it only goes to distress me when I see people rally round such a tragedy today, when you can be sure that come tomorrow the cries of hundreds of thousands of children in poverty and war-zones across the world, will once more be ignored because we have a new series of Big Brother to attach our whimsical minds to.
Thing is though, it's perspective isn't it. It's an on-going war with ourselves that we fight. To take the human race forward we need technology and we need to inspire those around us, even if that means putting our foot to the floor and leaving others behind. Deep down we know that every child matters, and whether our journey takes us to the city of luxurious coccoons or a neighbouring universe, we are failing our own people. We always have done, and probably always will, and yet we call ourselves 'civilised'. Yes we are good in pockets, yet these pockets belong to the empire's new clothes ...
I wonder how Tony Blair sees all that. He has played this 'caring leader' thing so smoothly, I can't help think he was modelled quite deliberately to serve our consciences and provide a distraction for those 'sinister forces' to hide behind. An agent of the CIA anyone, planted in University as one of many, funded and nursed to the top so that he one day would be able to serve his paymasters from a position of power? Such moles have been and still are being planted in many countries, ours could not possibly be an exception. His legacy? Well, it looks to me like we could be about to hit another 15 years of Tory Government. I dread to think it, we're still reeling from the last great dismantling of social fabric, what we as a people really don't need is another Thatcherite kicking.
I still frequent occasional internet forums and must thank my good friend Marc Richards for drawing my attention to the following Terry Pratchett quote from 'Night Watch': "People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. So the children of the revolution were faced with the age old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong type of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of People."
To that I can only add that through music, I personally am fortunate to meet so many of the right kind of people. I can't wait for the next gig; it's a show with the Zombies on Wednesday in a beautiful and grand old theatre in Leeds. Bring it on ...
21st April 2007 - Life's Rollercoaster (Part 9,673)
Ok, I couldn't stay away ... To bring you up to speed: this week's gigs have been awesome, and what a relief. I can at last be upfront and tell you I've been fearing the worst: I've had throat and chest complications, been losing my voice, breathing and sleeping not as good as they should be, the whole singing and writing thing disappearing into reminiscence.
So what's been happening? Well, yesterday after a few tests and results, I've been told I've had glandular fever. And I'm asthmatic. And to add to the mix, there's a good chance there's allergic reactions to something going on that have just added to the woes of recent times.
I have tried to write and record something new, and let's be honest I've really failed on that score lately ... thing is diagnosis does ease the spirit. In my case, I hope now I can free up a little of that spirit to once more step forward.
And with the forthcoming shows, especially the Men They Couldn't Hang tour in November, there's lots to look forward to with confidence and excitement!
So there you go ... a liitle self-pity and plenty of ego, but hey it's my blog, what you expect? :-)
>>> A BIG word of thanks to everyone who has made the gigs so special this week. Kevin Farrell and myself ALWAYS appreciate your love and respect. Thank you ... dp x
1st April 2007 - The Last Blog ...? Due to the fact that I'm drawing the blog to a close for a while, here's a lovely story to head the page. My brother Stuart is a great inspiration to me: 2nd Degree Black Belt, Martial Arts Tutor, and yet he's one of the nicest, most peaceful and loving people I know. The picture you see is of his little boy Noah. Beautiful stuff indeed ... :-).
Like many these days, our family, held it's own during a broken parental relationship. It's easy to blame people for that, and if I'm honest one of the things that cuts me still is the pointing of the blame finger that exists in our family. I guess forgiveness ... oh hang on, I've worded all that below, read on if you must.
You just gotta find strength from somewhere haven't you ... this little lad Noah, like the other children we have amongst us, Zak and Sanjay, is a source of our strength right now, a great comfort for my Mother who loves being Grandma, and my sister 'Auntie' Alison.
Friends and Family ... yep, you need 'em!
dp x
29th March 2007 - The Last Blog ...?
It's come to a point where I need to switch creative energies again, and conserve what I have for what lies ahead. Maybe it's the pressures of teaching, the lack of emotion in my current batch of songwriting, the kickback of a depression rollercoatser, whatever ... I just find that whenever I come to write a blog entry, it now seems uninspired and kinda 'down'. So this is the last entry for the time being at least.
Y'know ...
So, what have I got to say? Well, lots, loads of stuff, reflections and thoughts come and go everyday; it's like having a bath full of the things but with no plug in the hole. Maybe I'll just save what I have for forthcoming gigs, maybe I need to get back out there and bleed for real again.
It still hurts and all ... losing Jasmine in the way I did, being unable to forgive someone is one of the heaviest things to carry, and maybe there's something in that religious doctrine about forgiveness that makes sense after all. It doesn't read right now, but maybe, at some point, who knows ...
Religion keeps on affecting all conflicts in my mind. It shouldn't I guess, but when I was a kid, my Dad and two baby brothers were taken from us, all in very tragic and difficult circumstances, and all through those years I carried the brainwashing of a Church based school: Lord's Prayer daily, Church visits etc etc. Despite all the promises that teaching brought, there was nothing in our times of need. And you know, people with religion can't really accept that can they, it's so difficult for them to even to consider that all is not quite what they say it is.
Not that I hold it against anyone ... it just is, and religion is more often than not borne out of the plight of desperate people who need answers and faith systems when all else around them is so very wrong. My problem: I was educated on a faith system that just couldn't get it right. Not for me anyway.
And yet, when you are the parents of a child, the place you want to send them for safety and security, for the tender loving care and sense of morals, you look to a Church based school. Maybe I'm just one of those who felt through the grid ... maybe it's a numbers game ... maybe 'God' delivers more children than 'he' takes away and that's life people, celebrate it for what it is.
Today at college I had a bit of a turn ... bad headache and aching pains all over, felt quite poorly actually. Came home, went to bed and slept. When I awoke it hit me that I could have simply died in my sleep and been none the wiser. The fact that I awoke means I have something left to do: it could be to inspire one or two people to do worthwhile things with their lives, or to endure some kind of great personal suffering where I get to know the answers to life's uncomfortable questions, it could be anything, but whatever it is, I guess it's meant to be and so it shall.
The children at Delamere School are always somewhere in my thoughts. I was advised in a recent music therapy session that if I listen to them, they will show the way. These kids have issues way beyond mine ... I've decided that I need to listen more, then listen again.
Until next time, whenever that may be ... I'm off to sleep again, for the goodness of the soul. See you 'on the road' ...
dp x
16th March 2007 - London, Manchester etc
I haven't blogged for a while - must be the change in weather, a glimpse of spring flowers sprouting outside the front door, thanks to the caring, above and beyond the call, of my landlady, who for the record is too cool to ever be called a landlady. I don't know what it is about me though, I appreciate all that care and devotion spent on the garden and surroundings, yet all through Autumn I failed to pick up one single leaf as I guess it's all one and the same to me - it just is, nature, and I like it. The idea of birdsong being a prelude to feeding time however, still sends a little shiver through my weakest mental moments.
Ah yes, London ... it's good seeing Tina (my sister) and nephews Zak and Sanjay, even though I can't get my head around the place. The tube, on one occasion back in the day, brought a sense of excitement for me, and yet ever since that first time it's been a cause of great discomfort. It's probably the volume of people - there is so much space on this planet and yet we choose to squeeze up real tight, as if drawn together by some massive insecurity complex only to realise that some of us are the opposite end of the magnet. Becoming more and more claustrophic these days, I fail to see any other reason for this.
I met Sanjay for a visit to the 'Born To Rock' exhibition of legendary guitars at Harrods which is a touring collection, due in Paris soon, of some of rock history's most magical historic implements. It was great to see Rory Gallagher's original Fender Strat in particular, and some more unusual arty type guitar shaped things. There's some cack too - album fillers! - however overall this is one awesome exhibition to see and take in before it closes, and this canvas of music history becomes fragmented once more. See you in Paris then ...
I couldn't quite deal with the Harrods schizzle though, that 'Hard Rock Cafe' thing but a lot more over the top, with fur and purfume attaching itself retro stylee to the songs of our childhood. As if something so commercial could ever be one and the same with the music in your soul ... no, no way, you gotta get in the zone and stay with the music. Difficult though ... I mean could such a collection come together without big money?
The fact is you have all this necessary history that is ours wrapped up in this uncomfortable environment, where those who patrol it's establishment borders jump on you with disgust and the baseball bat of utter contempt, should you break ranks and be in any way rock'n'roll, or indeed outspoken against the nouveau trendy.
In a nutshell, focus on the guitars, feel the magic, listen to the music, rock the casbah and sing from the heart. The exhibition fantastic, the rest, bollocks. Not even a memorial to Dodi and Diana could slow my speedy exit. Now that's another story, but it's nothing new: the heirarchy of empires in slaughter conspiracy? They've all got murder on their hands, just peel back the canvas and follow the bloodline.
~ ~ ~
I'm not sure why exactly I was going to write about Manchester. Maybe it was because I went to see my footy team at the weekend, and yet it proved to be so instantly forgettable. It's an eye opener though, seeing the 'real thing' compared to the TV version, how the two are worlds apart with thousands following the roots of their working class culture, whilst exotic gladiators are wheeled in from foreign lands to compete for elevated god-like status. And all around, everything is covered in cheap tomato ketchup cliche, and we lap it up, over and over. Back for another fix? My team are truly, truly poor, but yes, I'll be back. There's something deep, passionate and in my breeding that says I should get one over big style on the tribe that lives just the other side of that hill.
So poyzerworld spins on. I will wake each day, fight those little trauma demons and tempt them back into the box, allowing me to consume and exhale a little while longer on Planet Earth, with my layer of skin and human resemblance to help me blend in with the rest. It's the same for all of us, come on, be honest - we're all aliens, each and everyone a bit pissed because our spaceship's gone missing.
1st March 2007 - The Cure For Depression Can Now Be Found at ...
... www.leekspin.com. Thanks to my Wigan mate Parry for the best buzz in ages! (At the time of writing I've been 'spinning' for over 28 mins).
19th February 2007 - The Jam or not The Jam?
There's a blog entry that's been sitting in my head for about 6 months now, ever since I happened accross a strange, yet very enjoyable gig, whilst staying in Hastings last Summer. Being an avid fan and devotee of The Jam during my younger music years, I called into to a little cellar bar club to see a Jam tribute band featuring, strangely enough, the original drummer Rick Buckler.
I guess in a way you'd have to be a Jam fan, or totally moved through heart and soul by some musical movement, to get the gist of why this is strangely significant. My live experience of The Jam was one gig only in 1981, and so important was it to me that I kept that evening sacred, never to go back to see another show, but to let that special thing remain so forever.
For many of us The Jam's music promoted strength through collective spirit, community and the combination of inspired youth and social awareness. Thing is for me, and many others, this spirit was very much diluted when, in late 1982, Paul Weller left the band to pursue a solo career.
The rest as they say is history - Weller was credited as principal songwriter and so made very good with the royalties, and despite being quite tepid at times without this original line-up, his solo career has been meteoric. But what of the other two, and for the rest of us who kinda went along with this original 'spirit' and allowed it to change our lives? Well, that all started to affect me again in a strange way that night in Hastings.
Jam bassist Bruce Foxton has been guesting with a few bands along the way to keep his mortgage paid, none quite as obvious as a Jam tribute band though. Indeed, for 15 years he's been the bassist for one of my other favourite bands 'at the outset' Stiff Little Fingers.
And so this has all come to another poignant moment today, with news that 'The Jam' - yes they have the rights to the name apparently - are reforming, with Foxton and Buckler teaming up with, not Weller, but the 'Weller' from the very Jam tribute band I saw in Hastings 6 months ago. And it's big news - the forthcoming tour is bound to make massive waves on the UK live scene, yet whether they are all positive remains to be seen.
In the cold light of day, I guess (with respect girls) that most of us who go to these gigs will individually be middle aged men stood around trying to reclaim a little of that youthful rebellion, a little of that collective adrenalin that we had before the 'wife and 2.2' came along. Together though, with or without Paul Weller, I truly hope that our music movement, which went a long way to shaping the social conscience of many British working class families over the years, will once more be strong ... will once more give us direction and passion. And maybe a little pay day and some much deserved magic for Buckler and Foxton, the two who Weller will never be able to replace, whether he publicly admits it or not. I do so hope in that spirit however, that this reformation won't miss Weller! Oh the dilemma of reforming a band ...
The Jam had a message, it meant something, and I believe that to be true and from the heart. But you know, sat here after all these years, I know I'm a better person and have led a decent life because of this, however I'm not really sure I remember what exactly that message was. I think my proudest statement though, is that it lives in my own songs, and it's still very much from the heart ...
Check out The Jam Tour 2007 here. My very best wishes and good luck shouts go to Rick, Bruce, keyboards guy Dave Moore, all those making this happen 'backstage', and especially to Russell Hastings, the guy who after many years treading the boards as a Paul Weller tribute artiste in that very band I saw in Hastings, will get a remarkable opportunity to be frontman for 'The Jam'. My commiserations however, to the bassist of that same band ... I hope they've looked after the lad, I reckon he'll be gutted.
17th February 2007 - Vids On You Tube
Just a little update to say that I've popped 3 vids on You Tube and My Space. Songs from the Global DVD actually; Beautiful Addiction, Looking For The Positive and Julie Rainbow.
www.youtube.com/darrenpoyzer . www.myspace.com/darrenpoyzer
ps I've been a cheapskate, they're approx 45 second to a minute samples from the dvd. As it happens, I've just watched some of the Global DVD for the first time in ages, and I am really happy with it, it's a refreshing good view, even if I say so myself! So, here we go ... how about I put complete footage of all 14 songs online? Aren't I lovely ...
15th February 2007 - Bloody Flip - Recording at last??
It's a very rare occurence indeed, however I've had to cancel a couple of gigs this week due to a chest infection. Not nice is it - I'm sure there's more pleasant things to read on t'internet.
The good news I guess is that I finally got round to sitting in front of a microphone for some recording this week, and even though I really don't think I hit the mark and produced anything magical, I've a good idea what I want to do now. Problem is, it could take me forever.
I can't believe how I suffer from such low confidence sometimes - is it that though, or just a totally unrealistic expectation?
One good thing that has happened alongside this is that my good friend Rory Ellis called me from Melbourne Australia on Monday ... he's back here touring soon, and I really look forward to having more of the kinda laughs we had when touring Scotland for a week last summer. If you have a listen to Rory's recorded songs, you'll notice that he has set a level of absolute outstanding achievement in his work, so when he offered me a few tips, I was more than ready to listen.
As Rory says, when you record something, you're on the world stage, and therefore you have to mix it with the Sprinsteen's of the world, you have to be that powerful. I kinda like that ... someone will obviously disagree, however I think if you wanna be heard, you gotta aim high. Either that, or you just chill and enjoy ... I'd kinda settle for a bit of both.
And along came another boost, a lovely message from Felice Wechsler out in New York - turns out she's playing my songs at work and there's an appreciation thing going on. Music turns little things into great feelings.
So anyway, there's no feeling sorry for myself - indeed, with all the efforts that I've put into teaching this year, working alongside the traumas that some young people unbelievably go through these days in England, I need a few days recouperation, and some special time with special friends.
And let's be honest, despite a few days of gales and a weekend of snow, we've had an unbelievably mild and refreshing winter so far ... keeps that seasonal depression well away, and we're getting ever so close to Spring again.
dp x
1 February 2007 - That Taxed Feeling
Tired and yet very relieved - I hate doing my accounts, and subsequently every year during January I get anxious and more and more stressed as the tax deadline approaches and I realise I have a year's worth of accounts to get posted before the Jan 31st deadline. Every flippin' year I leave it until the last, and every year I go through the same mental shit and late, late nights.
So today, with extra workload due to my covering for a colleague in college, it's been a busy if somewhat more mentally relaxed day than of late. Must make note to self: next year, don't leave it 'til the last. I will though ...
I am hoping that this year's blog will be at least as well recieved as last years, although I must admit to a little paranoia over the self-indulgent aspects of blogging. I do try to read other blogs and find many to be either too self-indulgent, boring and lifeless, of plain lifeless. Make another note to self: entertain boy, entertain ...
I think however I may have wasted this week's energies on a message board rant, digging at the new 'Super-Casino' in Manchester. A friend of mine who is an occasional happy gambler, was busy echoing the carefully prepared publicity spin to show his joy at this thing being built in Manchester. I couldn't help myself ... here ya go:
"more desperate people putting their credit limit dribbles into the pockets of those who give nothing in return ... and odds on Manchester will also now be the first city to run legalised brothels
I kinda feel for the kids whose gambling addict parents will put the heating money, the rent, the Christmas present money, and everything else that could go towards functional upbringings, into making this profitable for the suits and the crimelords
what's wrong with investing in schools, community centres, youth clubs, rape crisis centres, drug clinics, hospitals, care homes ... all these things provide employment but with the added bonus of stifling our society's slide into utter piss
I honestly can't see how our society, in such a bleeding state that it is, can honestly be offered a casino as an antidote ... this country has turned into a lottery merry-go-round and with the greatest of respect, we need answers and solutions, not gimmicks for the business class
at least Manchester already has the guns and the drugs ... we won't be needing to worry about an influx of that kinda shit because it's already here ... very nifty of London to avoid this kinda nonsense ... the Dome will probably get a nice Disney contract now, just you watch ...
It's very easy to call people irresponsible Dom, yet for many gambling is an addiction that has to be fought, not taken advantage of
and seeing as every working class family is continually being pressured and ripped apart by the rising costs of anything that some big cheese can make more money out of, then more and more people are succumbing to desperation
by it's very name 'super-casino' this is merely a marketing ploy to sell yet more fools gold, to take more blood out of the people of this country and pump it by the bucketload into the pockets of the establishment heirarchy
bascially mate, to you it's a hobby (and I respect your rights to a hobby) but to me it's the continuation of a nightmare
wasn't the whole idea of the national lottery to aid good causes? where's that incentive go to now then, when lottery sales in Manchester disappear ... do we then get less lottery money for Manchester based projects?
legislation to take bookmakers out of run down estates and reduce the drinking hours (replacing them with non-alcoholic social centres) to help alcoholics are long overdue and looking more and more distant
as a society we've given up fighting rape, alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, gun crime, gang warfare etc etc ... it's all slowly but surely being allowed in, finance and legislation moving not to reduce it, but to apply tax and / accomodate it within budget
it's all bollocks and I'm an opinionated gobshite"
How's that for a rant - entertaining enough for ya?
18th January 2007 - Blackpool F***in' Tower
Geddin'. Got a gig with Wishbone Ash at Blackpool Tower Lounge in April. Feel like wiping a 99 across my face and throwing sand down my shorts.
Someone was telling Saddam jokes in college today. I'm currently listening to 'Lost In Music' courtesy of The Fall. It's been a very windy day here in England.
And I've given up on this idea of recording a new album at home. I'm booking studio time and letting someone else tell me I can do better and do re-take, re-take, rewind, re-take.
Have I got other things to say? Yes, but not right now. I am a fat lad who needs exercise, so I'm off to the gym to listen to some really shite disco music and be distracted by either lust or disgust courtesy of somebody's licra.
luvetc, dp x
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